Just the funny stuff…

Youth Rally a Big Success

 

The annual youth rally here at Gospel Light was a big success with nearly 300 people in attendance. There were many creative people working day and night to make it happen. Let me fill you in on some of the fun!

Upon arrival, you would have found our museum and it’s many artifacts. You may have even been greeted by Mr. Peculiar, our museum curator.

grayson

The artifacts on exhibit are  too many to mention, but some of them (all very peculiar) are pictured here. We had Boaz’s other shoe, Adam and Eve’s original ‘fig’ure flattering fig leaf garments, Moses’ broken tablets, Paul and Silas’ prison clothes and a snapshot of the Italian Band. Our museum is still available for viewing through mid May so come on in and check it out!

The museum

Moses' broken tablets

Moses’ broken tablets

The Italian Band

 

 

A few artifacts we dug up!

 

After visiting the museum, you would have ventured in to our sanctuary and found peculiar platform decor as well as  some rather peculiar clothing on our staff members. You just never know what this bunch is going to come up with.

Pastor G and Pastor Bard

Pastor G and Pastor Bard

 

Peculiar clothing!

Peculiar clothing!

One of the first activities of the night was to give away a pizza party to a youth group. Now, we couldn’t just hand it over…these things must be earned! In order to do that, one of our best cooks, Chef Wannabe, had some tasty treats for six youth leaders to try out. If you have never tasted chocolate covered crickets or the tongue of a yak, you wouldn’t know what you are missing! The highlight though, would have to be the McDonald’s happy meal (blended up in the blender, coke, fries and all….) Sadly, most of our contestants were not too keen on drinking it down, but the winner of the pizza party was a real sport. Pastor Dave Karpenko downed that drink as though it might have even tasted good! EWWW! What a good sport though!

Chef Wan A Be

Chef Wan A Be

 

On to better things. We had a very thought provoking skit, “Who’s your Daddy?”  that was funny, but would leave the viewer pondering his or her own salvation and walk with the Lord. Part two of the skit “The Christian Journey” was later in the evening. It is our prayer and hope that those in attendance will not soon forget what they saw and heard.

Who is your Daddy?  Mr. DeVille? or Mr. Gooood?

Who is your Daddy?
Mr. DeVille? or Mr. Gooood?

 

After some really good special music, our preachers took their turns.

The DG's.

The DG’s.

 

Ladies Trio

Ladies Trio

 

 

Brother Jeff Harris preached a message titled ‘What is your Battle?’ He reminded us of David and the giant that he faced. Stressing that we all have a giant in our life. That sin will lead to destruction if we allow it to. He went on to Solomon and his giant being lust and desire, causing him to follow after false Gods, and watering down his desire to serve God.  Lastly he spoke of  Rehoboam who was not willing to listen to the wisdom of his elders but chose to follow the advice of his peers. This was his downfall. I highly recommend listening to the messages that were preached  here.

Bro. Jeff Harris

Bro. Jeff Harris

 

Our keynote preacher was Evangelist Greg Pritchard. He very aptly reminded us that if God is not before us, in our thoughts, in our mind, the Word of God read daily, our actions being that of people who want to please Him, we will not be able to make right choices. Our life will be lived in vain. God must be in front! We must be willing to be peculiar for His glory. NOT weird. Peculiar. A few definitions of the word are: set apart, different from the usual, distinct from all others,  distinctive in nature or character from others. A great reminder of who we should be in Christ.

Evangelist Greg Pritchard

Evangelist Greg Pritchard

 

After giving away a final prize, (Kindle) we wound up the night with box lunches containing some of the best brownies you could ever want to bite into and a final skit from Mrs. Shirley Jenkins! That woman can sure clean things up!

 

The Winner of a Kindle

The Winner of a Kindle

 

Mrs. Jenkins

Mrs. Jenkins

 

As we make plans for next year, we look forward to seeing the Lord show up and move in the hearts of young and old alike. Make plans to attend!

 

 

 

April 18, 2014.

Save the date! 

Mothers’ Day Poem – by Brenda Derefinko

“Mama Is” – written by Mrs. Brenda Derefinko

Read at the pulpit by Mrs Shirley Jenkins this Mothers’ Day, May 13, 2012

Mamas do so many things, the hats they wear are many;
Their lists of jobs are endless, and the skills they have are plenty.
 
Mama is a nurse, for with her kisses she can heal;
And mama is a gourmet chef, for she can sure cook a meal.
 
Mama is a police officer, for the law she does not bend;
But she also is a lawyer, and ready to defend.
 
Mama is there to listen, for her couch is always free;
That’s why I know that mama has a psychology degree.
 
Mama is a bodyguard, she’ll protect you with her life;
Shielding you from evil, hurt, and undue strife.
 
Mama’s taught me many things, I know she is a teacher;
Her lessons are convicting, that’s when mama is a preacher.
 
I think mama’s in the UFC, it shows with her correction;
But she is only instructing, and guiding me to walk in the right direction.
 
Mama is a dictator, she tells you when and how and why;
She says “because I said so”, now do it and don’t you cry.
 
Mama didn’t have to say anything, sometimes all it took;
That I knew mama was a mime, when she gave me “The Look!”
 
The one thing mama wasn’t, and she made this one thing known;
“Mama’s not a maid”, she said in a forceful tone.
 
So with all of mama’s talents, and the many hats that she does wear;
Why just take one little Sunday, to show how much you care.
 
Celebrate her everyday, and skip all the drama;
Thank God for her talents, and take your hat off to mama!
 
 

Hungry?

Great Moments in GLBBC Sports History

GABRIEL GONZALEZ: prize street fighter preacher. Professional Status: still active, older, wiser, knows when to duck.

Michael Giardino starts job as airport director

Mar 28, 2012 | Democrat and Chronicle | by Staff writer |  Monroe County Executive Maggie Brooks introduced as the new director of the Greater Rochester International Airport, former naval aviator video producer Michael Giardino, who started the job Wednesday. His appointment still requires confirmation by the Monroe County Legislature etc, etc, etc … a GLBBC April Fools posting …Check out the  source at www.democratandchronicle.com.
 
 
     Previous
     Experience:

A Little Humor

I Don’t Want To Go To Church!

A mother went to wake her son for church one Sunday morning. When she knocked on his door, he said, “I’m not going!”

“Why not?” asked his mother.

“I’ll give you two good reasons,” he said. “One, they don’t like me. Two, I don’t like them.”

His mother replied, “I’ll give you two good reasons why YOU WILL go to church. One, you’re 47 years old. Two, you’re the pastor!”

 

Choir humor

Our Choir is going to begin rehearsals again on August 21st at 4 PM. Take this quiz to see if you qualify!

Choir Proficiency Test

 

Find out what it takes to make a good choir member.

Before joining the choir, the director hands you this questionnaire which has been carefully developed by experts to find out how proficient you are. Read and reflect on each situation. Give the answer that you think will most enhance the quality of the performance.

 

Question 1

As you enter the choir loft on Sunday morning, you suddenly trip and fall. You should:

a. Either remain prone or assume a kneeling position. Break into fervent prayer.

b. Pretend you’ve had a heart attack.

c. Wave your arms in the air and begin speaking in tongues.

d. Crawl to the nearest chair.

 

Question 2

You show up twenty minutes late for the Christmas musical. You should:

a. Climb into the back row from the baptistery.

b. Enter pretending to be a soundman. Check some cables, then suddenly slip your cute little self in with the rest of the choir.

c. Turn out all the lights and slip into the choir during the blackout.

d. Read Michael Cunningham’s pamphlet, “Techniques for Tardy Appearances.”

 

Question 3

You are a soprano, but have trouble counting. Consequently, you boom out high C one measure too soon. You should:

a. Glide right into an inspired “O For a Thousand Tongues to Sing.”

b. Gaze triumphantly at the rafters and hold that note.

c. Stop abruptly, mid squawk, but keep your lips moving.

d. Sink to the floor in shame.

 

Question 4

During the hymn, you discover that you have only one of the two pages. You should:

a. Hum like your life depended on it.

b. Sing, “Watermelon, watermelon, watermelon” in harmony.

c. Remove one shoe and use your toes to try to get another hymnal out of the choir rack.

d. Sing the first page over again.

 

Question 5

When the inevitable big sneeze comes near the end of the Christmas cantata, you should:

a. Stomp hard on your neighbor’s foot just as you sneeze to create a diversion.

b. Do your best to make the honk harmonize.

c. Muffle the sound by sneezing into the hair of the choir member in front of you.

d. Sink to the floor in shame.

 

Your Results

Tally the number of a’s, b’s, c’s and d’s. Proficiency ratings are as follows:

4 or more a’s: You will make a first rate choir member.

4 or more b’s: Your choir reflexes are fully developed. You will do well in choir.

4 or more c’s: Your choir experience is spotty; however, your team spirit is way up there. You will be an asset to the choir.

4 or more d’s: The recommendation is that you take another direction, give up choir aspirations and take up something like soccer or group therapy.

 

Everyone is welcome. You need not pass the test!

 

HOBO DAY!

This past weekend there were quite a few things going on, but one of them was the Kings Kids first HOBO DAY!
So we whipped up a little video for those of you who were not able to see some of these kids and their hilarious outfits.
Click the link below.
HOBO DAY!

Don’t believe everything you read …

Rumor Mill, Part I – A local preacher’s young daughter noticed that her father always bowed his head in prayer before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why. “Well, Honey,” he began, “I’m asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon.” “How come He doesn’t answer it?” she asked.

Rumor Mill, Part II Quite recently at Sunday School, the teacher had described how Lot’s wife looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt. One child spoke up, saying, “My Mommy looked back once while she was driving, and she turned into a telephone pole!”

Rumor Mill, Part III The same Sunday school teacher happen to ask the class, “Do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ?” ”No”, a thoughtful child replied. “How could he with just two worms?”

Shocking Video: Caught On Tape

Caught On Tape – an unidentified pastor from Western NY.

Was he reacting to:

  1. a recent apparition of Mother Mary?
  2. a Broadway director in the congregation?
  3. a critical lack of dietary fiber?
  4. the failure of his March Madness bracket?
  5. his son’s plans to move to Hollywood?
  6. last April’s alien abduction at his church?

Vote early and often ===>

Dear puzzled reader. Please read 1 Samuel 21:10-15 to find the true answer to the above question. Hint: You are watching a inspired reenactment of a precarious scene from the life of an Old Testament king.

A church culture around eating? Nah, it can’t happen.

Do You Go to Church? You’re More Likely to Be Fat

… screams the headline. A pastor interviewed in the article said, “There’s certainly a church culture around eating”.

I sure am glad I belong to a church where food never crosses our minds (tongue firmly planted in cheek).

To read the article and check out the video, click the apple pie:


Comic Gallery: Fasting

Super Bowl Sunday Preview

So Little Time

Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; 2 Tim 4:2-4

For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. James 4:14