I Don’t Want To Go To Church!
A mother went to wake her son for church one Sunday morning. When she knocked on his door, he said, “I’m not going!”
“Why not?” asked his mother.
“I’ll give you two good reasons,” he said. “One, they don’t like me. Two, I don’t like them.”
His mother replied, “I’ll give you two good reasons why YOU WILL go to church. One, you’re 47 years old. Two, you’re the pastor!”
Our Choir is going to begin rehearsals again on August 21st at 4 PM. Take this quiz to see if you qualify!
Choir Proficiency Test
Before joining the choir, the director hands you this questionnaire which has been carefully developed by experts to find out how proficient you are. Read and reflect on each situation. Give the answer that you think will most enhance the quality of the performance.
As you enter the choir loft on Sunday morning, you suddenly trip and fall. You should:
a. Either remain prone or assume a kneeling position. Break into fervent prayer.
b. Pretend you’ve had a heart attack.
c. Wave your arms in the air and begin speaking in tongues.
d. Crawl to the nearest chair.
You show up twenty minutes late for the Christmas musical. You should:
a. Climb into the back row from the baptistery.
b. Enter pretending to be a soundman. Check some cables, then suddenly slip your cute little self in with the rest of the choir.
c. Turn out all the lights and slip into the choir during the blackout.
d. Read Michael Cunningham’s pamphlet, “Techniques for Tardy Appearances.”
You are a soprano, but have trouble counting. Consequently, you boom out high C one measure too soon. You should:
a. Glide right into an inspired “O For a Thousand Tongues to Sing.”
b. Gaze triumphantly at the rafters and hold that note.
c. Stop abruptly, mid squawk, but keep your lips moving.
d. Sink to the floor in shame.
During the hymn, you discover that you have only one of the two pages. You should:
a. Hum like your life depended on it.
b. Sing, “Watermelon, watermelon, watermelon” in harmony.
c. Remove one shoe and use your toes to try to get another hymnal out of the choir rack.
d. Sing the first page over again.
When the inevitable big sneeze comes near the end of the Christmas cantata, you should:
a. Stomp hard on your neighbor’s foot just as you sneeze to create a diversion.
b. Do your best to make the honk harmonize.
c. Muffle the sound by sneezing into the hair of the choir member in front of you.
d. Sink to the floor in shame.
Tally the number of a’s, b’s, c’s and d’s. Proficiency ratings are as follows:
4 or more a’s: You will make a first rate choir member.
4 or more b’s: Your choir reflexes are fully developed. You will do well in choir.
4 or more c’s: Your choir experience is spotty; however, your team spirit is way up there. You will be an asset to the choir.
4 or more d’s: The recommendation is that you take another direction, give up choir aspirations and take up something like soccer or group therapy.
Everyone is welcome. You need not pass the test!
Our evening service consisted of some great singing, a special from Grayson and then some testimonies from those who attended Majesty Music‘s Music College. We had several folks who made that trip. It’s always great to hear about how the Lord worked in the lives of those who make a special effort to learn more regardless of what the subject is. All of the people who went came home with something to say. See Julia, Raquel, Mateo, Bonnie, Melodie, Gail, Tom, Kaori or Brian for more info on that!
Pastor’s message was humbling. He spoke on the Lord’s thought life and how he thinks about you and me!
Ps 40:17 But I am poor and needy; yet the Lord thinketh upon me:
how many words of the Bible you have read today,
how many minutes you spend in prayer,
how many tears you shed for lost souls,
the thoughts you had today.
You have been investigated by God Almighty!
As always at GLBBC, we enjoyed hearty worship music. We began the morning with an opening special from Mike and Lori G as they sang “O, It Is Wonderful to be a Christian”
O it is wonderful to be a Christian
O it is wonderful to be God’s child
O it is wonderful to have your sins forgiven.
O it is wonderful to be redeemed, justified, forever reconciled. AMEN!
Pastor Giardino “mounted up” and let us know that we may be going down deep for some of the morning’s message.
O earth, earth, earth, hear the word of the LORD. Jeremiah 22:29
We found that many things come in threes in the Word of God and otherwise.
Just to name a few,
1 2 3
Death Burial Resurrection
Father Son Holy Ghost
Lord Jesus Christ
He is all three! While his name is Jesus, he is also Lord and Christ and all three come together to make him what and who He is.
In Isaiah, another triple as we see Holy, Holy, Holy! is the Lord God almighty in Is 6.
Pastor spoke of the linen as the righteousness of the saints and wondered if we will dress in Heaven the way we dress here on Earth? Not likely. We will be covered. There will not be the nakedness that we see now unless of course we are dressed according to what we earn for that time. Something to think about.
1 – Get Faith in God
what are you trusting in? Works? Church attendance? Trusting our child rearing to the public schools?
2- Get Full of God
Romans 13:14 But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.
When we hear the 2nd Holy, Holy, Holy in Revelation, it will be too late.
3 – Get Following God
Jeremiah 22:5 But if ye will not hear these words, I swear by myself, saith the LORD, that this house shall become a desolation.
We have a choice!
When you get to heaven will you be singing this?
- More, so much more,
More of my life than I e’er gave before
By and by when I look on His face,
I’ll wish I had given Him more.
On Sunday the 31st, we had the privilege of having Bro. David Engesath of www.masterpotterministries.com in our services. What a blessing this was!
Brother Engesath uses the potters wheel and an abundance of clay to bring forth a message of hope as he accounts of the way that the potter molds and shapes us, his children. God’s desire is to mold us into his perfect vessel. Not perfect in our eyes, but in His!
2 Timothy 2:21
If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the master’s use, and prepared unto every good work.
Ps 119:73 Thy hands have made me and fashioned me:
In Jeremiah 18, we surmise that the potter didn’t say one word. The potter wanted Jeremiah to SEE it, not just hear. The vessel was marred and had to be started over again. Not just a blemish, but wrecked and started again.
This potter turned preacher reminded us that we will stand before God one day and give an account for all that we have done.
So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.
We can be prepared for this Judgment Seat by allowing ourselves to go through the same processes that clay goes through.
1 -Dug out – FAITH Read, receive and believe
2 -Weathered VIRTUE Hide, cleanse, soften
3 – Wedged KNOWLEDGE Study and understand
4- Rested TEMPERANCE Meditate, quiet
5 – Shaped PATIENCE Thankfulness, praise
6 – Low-fired GODLINESS Devotion, contentment, sorship
7 – Glaze coat BROTHERLY KINDNESS Yielded , willing to do right
8 – High fired CHARITY Serving with pure motives
Bottom line is, be ready! Allow the Lord to work in your life and view all of life’s trials and joys as part of the shaping process. Be sure to check out these messages online!
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