New Blog Contributor: Advice Columnist

Any blog-writer tries to keep things fresh and interesting. Sometimes though, they need a little help. That is why this forum has considered bringing aboard an advice columnist. To that end, and after carefully selecting from many applicants, this blog would like now to introduce Miss Norma Lee Wong, our new contributor to this space. She will field questions from letters and e-mail to the GLBBC blog and attempt to provide doctrinally sound answers. Have at it, Miss Wong:

Question: A friend of mine at Gospel Light suggested that next year’s church theme should be “We’re like fudge, really sweet with a few nuts.” What do you think of the idea? – Robin Banks, Gates

Answer: Have the pastor remove him/her from the church premises, place his/her name on the blacklist, and post a mug shot by the front entrance.

Question: I’ve been recently studying the Sermon on the Mount. While researching the passages in the gospel of Matthew, I’ve come across many schools of thought on how to interpret what Jesus said. Can you straighten me out regarding this most famous open-air sermon? – Biblically Boggled, Rochester

Answer: I happen to agree with the church historians who estimate that 17% of the people who heard the original Sermon on the Mount thought it “ran a little long”.

Question: Did Moses look anything like Charlton Heston in the movie “The Ten Commandments”? – Amiya Crank, Spencerport

Answer: Through archeological evidence taken from Egyptian hieroglyphics, ironically, Moses looked more like Steve Carell in the movie “Evan Almighty“.

Question: My parents keep telling me to be silent and sit still in church. I’m only 5 years old, so why do they expect me to keep quiet? – “Candy” Applebee, Hilton

Answer: It’s because people are sleeping, sweetheart.

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